Soupe de Lentils Avec Plombier

This healthy and delicious recipe for lentil soup is a favorite at our house, and costs only $150 a pot!


3 cups red lentils
2 28-oz cans of diced tomatoes
4 medium onions, diced
2 medium potatoes, diced
1 16-oz can garbanzo beans
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tbsp minced garlic
1 tbsp sage
1 tbsp cumin
1 plombier
red pepper sauce
salt to taste
10-12 cups water

Cooking Instructions

  1. Place water in 3-gallon pot.
  2. Rinse lentils in a colander in small batches until the water runs clear. Spill 1/2 cup dry lentils on the kitchen counter (inevitable).
  3. Note warning on lentil packet: immerse red lentils in water (in pot) immediately after rinsing or they will stick to one another and form hard, rocky clumps that cannot be separated.
  4. To lentils, add tomatoes, onions, potatoes, olive oil, garlic, spices, and tabasco (to taste)
  5. Cook at high heat for 20 minutes until mixture boils.
  6. While heating, flush spilled dry lentils down the sink; run garbage disposal briefly.
  7. When soup boils, turn heat to low and cook for 40 minutes. Add garbanzo beans, salt to taste.
  8. Clean up workspace; run peelings through garbage disposal. Note that the sink will no longer drain.
  9. Plunge sink for 40 minutes; note that it still will not drain.
  10. When lentils are fully cooked, decant and serve. Serves ten, or freezes well for five days of meals.
  11. Continue plunging. Water level will refuse to drop.
  12. When arms tire, call plumbing contractor and order a plombier. Wait 36 hours.
  13. When plombier arrives, direct him to the sink.
  14. After 45 minutes, plumber will produce a cleared drain, a quarter-bucket of red lentils, and a bill for $125.
  15. See Step 3.

Bon appetit!



4 thoughts on “Soupe de Lentils Avec Plombier

  1. LK

    Our house was retrofitted with a disposal sometime before we bought it. The drainage is shallow and slow even when wide open, so we don’t used the disposal any more than we have to. I am quite the dab hand with a sewer snake – NOT my favorite household chore.

    1. admin Post author

      Yeah, LK, I remember snakeland; early on in life I had a weekend job cleaning up the previous night’s carnage at a pizza restaurant, and they issued me a snake and showed me how to use it. People flushed interesting things down the toilet, and then kept using the john after it backed up. Unforgettable.

      But these days I let the friendly union-card-holder guy from Geo. H. Wilson Plumbing do it for me. If it started happening more often, it might be time for a return to snakeland. But only if I have to.


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